Tonight is not a night that the words are coming too easily. Or at all actually. I am sitting here on my front porch wishing for them to start flowing or for it to start pouring rain or for something wonderful to happen that will spark my imagination and make me happy and inspired and feel the magic of words coursing though my veins and spilling out onto a page and filling it with something beautiful. It hasn’t happened yet. I am still stuck in a winter funk and it is May. School ends in a week. Any I am still in winter writing mode. That is a problem in my life. 

I am so close to finishing I can taste it. It should be there. It should be sparkly and perfect and ready for the world to see it and instead it is a great middle and ending of a story with no beginning. Writing out of order is a terrible horrible no good very bad plan and I am never going to do it again. Only I didn’t do it this time. I wrote a beginning, it just sucked really bad so I had to scrap it. Shit. 

Also, sometimes writing makes me want to swear. It is a problem that I love it so much or I would have a much easier time with my life. I would also have a much more boring life. I would never have met some of my best friends.

 I never would have had Hilary’s life to get me threw my dark days and I never would have had Larain and Chris’ love to lift my spirits and give me hope in the world. I never would have met Skyler, or Forrest, or Meghin, or Emery, or Destery, or Dayten, or anyone else that seems to have taken over my thought process so entirely. And so I am glad that I write even when it is hard and sucks and I hate everything and want to throw my computer at a wall.