Today I am not going to give you another list. I am tired of lists. I want to give you my words, my thoughts, and what ever other random things I decide to type out in the next few minutes. I decided that while lists are great fun, they do not tell you everything I want to get out. And that just won't work for me today because I have a lot to get out.
Lots of feelings trying to burst out of my family this week. I think that is why we all got sick this week, why we can't get rid of this silly what ever it is. We are all to stressed. February 15. That is the day. The day of all days. Moving day. Two weeks and five days and I will be out of my beautiful, wonderful house. And, lets face it, I am scared to death about it.
I don't want to move, ever. I want to stay right where I am. I like where I am. I like that this little yellow house, with it's rose bushed and crazy paint, has always been here. It has always been home. All of my stories, all my memories, they all center around this place.
9976 North Oak Road West, Cedar Hills, UT. That is my address. That is where I belong. That is where I have celebrated every birthday I can remember, and a few I can't. That is where my parents brought Faith after she is born. That is where I met Celina. That is where I learned everything I know. It is where I read my first book. Where I started writing. Gracen broke her wrist for the first time on this street. I said goodbye to Celina when she moved in this neighborhood. I fell in love for the first time here. I have done everything with in a few blocks of this house. It is where I grew up. And now I have to leave.
I don't want to leave here, and I don't want to go there, where ever there is. I don't want to have to move into a new ward, make new friends. I am shy. I don't deal with new people well. I shut down and block them out. I have friends here. I know that the people who live around me will always be there when I need them, I don't want to lose that and go some where that I don't know that. I don't want to go to church on Sunday and sit in a room full of people I don't know who have what I have here. I don't want to be the new girl. I don't know how to do that, and I have no interest in learning.