I understand that scissors can beat paper and I get that rock beats scissors but there is no way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around the rock, leaving it immobile? What can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of paper constantly suffocating students while they are taking notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anything. A rock would tear it up in two seconds. That is why when I play rock, paper, scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims they beat me with paper I can punch them in the face and say, 'Oh sorry, i thought your paper would protect you."
I didn't actually write this, i read it on a sign somewhere, but I can picture me saying it because I agree with it, so I thought I would share.
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