Sunday, October 23, 2011

This week was wonderful, despite a most atrocious beginning. You see, it started horribly. So horribly that I thought the world should end and I should just die then. It started with me getting a speeding ticket.
You read that right. Taylor Ann Lapp, one of the few people in the state who does not consistently go five over the limit every time they drive, got a speeding ticket. Getting this ticket, of course, caused me a full blown panic attack. I freaked out big time, to the point of the police officer asking if I needed an ambulance and did not regain my composure until well into third period. I did regain it though, and from that point on my week was amazing.
What, you may ask, made this week amazing? Well I will give you a list, because lists are wonderful, and I will make this list in chronological order because that is also amazing.

  • hanging out with Ben after school.
  • playing 'yes no' with the young women.
  • scavenger hunt in the mall.
  • Hoopla.
  • Sleeping in a rather small bed with Heather and Aubri.
  • Sitting and watching movies ALL day long.
  • Getting hyped up on caffeine.
  • Sleeping in.
  • Getting the house clean.
  • Zupas and ice cream.
  • Late night Harry Potter viewing with heather.
  • Another sleep over with that darling midget.
  • A football game with Ben (Football = :( Ben= :) )
  • Sitting with Dad for a while.
  • Finally getting Cini on the phone and realising she will be here in three weeks.
  • Going to bed early.
  • Making plans with Sister Emmie to watch Criminal Minds.
  • Home teaching with Dad.
  • Yummy cookies.
  • Amazing Race.
You see? That is a long list of wonderful things that happened on this short week with a long weekend. And now? back to school (and term finals) we go.

Monday, October 17, 2011

so there is a website that I love. I visit it at least once a day, and I bet you would love it too. you should go visit. look, you are done reading this and wondering "what should I do now, facebook? . . ." The answer is not facebook. the answer is to go to your address bar and type: oneword.com because I am to lazy to add a link. go, enjoy. and remember to eat good food when you want it.

that is all.
taylor.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I do enjoy quotes, don't you?

If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it. ~Anais Nin

If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams. ~Terri Guillemets

An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate. ~Chateaubriand

Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand. ~George Orwell

One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment. ~Hart Crane


The two most engaging powers of an author are to make new things familiar and familiar things new. ~Samuel Johnson

The best style is the style you don't notice. ~Somerset Maugham


The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say. ~Anaïs Nin

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. ~Ray Bradbury


And by the way, everything in life is writable if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~Anton Chekhov

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter - it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning. ~Mark Twain

Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. ~Gene Fowler

Ink on paper is as beautiful to me as flowers on the mountains; God composes, why shouldn't we? ~Terri Guillemets

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one. ~Baltasar Gracián
Who knew 'finishing' my book would wipe me out so completely, when it isn't even really finished, it still needs work. But the work must wait because I have no words, or to many words, or not quite enough words. They are there, running through my head every second of the day.

Words about Emery, and Skyler, and Eli, and Tristan, and Lyla, and Maxwell, and Larry the mortuary boy, and Kyzle with a silent z, and Heather, and Mike, and Faith, and Celina, and Addy Sue, and my hair spray, and my computer, and my leadership teacher, and that one white dress I had that one time, and where did it go?, and the mattress that won't stay on the couch like it should, and the purple blanket that is perfect, and the old house, and the worlds best park that has all my memories in it, and Mrs. Ellis (whose first name is Kathleen), and, and, and.

So many words that I keep listening to the same song on repeat because any more than one and my brain would be exploding with lyrics and notes and measures and beats and rhythms and this song is so nice and tells me to stay and sleep and not go out because it is cold out there and warm in here and he loves me so it is okay and we will be alright as long as I stay with him.

The words won't come out of my head though, they are broken up, and disconbobulated, and jumbled, and mashed together into a yarn ball that would break records and I can't find an end to pull on and start weaving a sweater with and the snow is coming soon so I need a sweater and my brain hurts from looking.

that is all.
taylor.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Two days, 6 hours, five minutes until my dead line. And three chapters. I think if I kick it in to high gear and write another 15-20 pages tonight I will finish. I just have to not procrastinate (which of course it what this blog post is) and not (heaven forbid) get writers block in the next 54 hours.

three chapters. that is all. that is crazy.

that is all.
taylor.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Here, have some thoughts from my brain, I have spares.

Dear, love, honey, sweetheart. . . take your pick, I enjoy ridiculous pet names. they make me swoon. but do you want to know a secret? there is one word that when added to any of them not only makes me swoon, they make my heart skip a beat, my stomach turn over, and completely wins me over. My. put those two letters before any of those lovely pet names and you will have won over my heart. I'm not sure what it is about indicating ownership that is so incredibly charming but it is a fact. My dear, my love, and my lady in particular. They make me giddy.


I sometimes wonder why people care about being popular so much. don't much see the point in spending these three years in high school giving up all shreds of individuality to attain this barbie doll image that is deemed cool. sure, you get to sit next to the head cheerleader at lunch, and you might get a hansom beau, but what will that matter in a few years when no one remembers who you are and that boy has moved on to his next pretty blonde? i would much rather be me and enjoy my time listening to veggie tales in the parking lot and wearing christmas sweaters in september. at least I will be able to look back on these years and see something i don't regret.



I hate illnesses. and i hate kidney stones. for those of you who have never had one (which of course in the majority of the population) consider yourself lucky. they are the absolute worst. and they hurt. and they make you throw up, and dizzy, and even more uncoordinated than you usually are which is bad if you are me. i would much prefer for the good doctor to have told me i actually got the flu from gracie. curses.


I really have no desire to go to class after lunch ever. even more than i don't want to go to first period because my bed is warm and sleeping is so nice, i want to be lazy after lunch. and this year my two favorite classes are after lunch. i should avoid having a fourth period next year. granted i would still have to wait around until 3:30 to get faith and drive gracie home but i have no qualms about that. i would much prefer to be lazy in my car for 3 hours than to go back to school after lunch.
I have 6 days, 7 hours, and 24 minutes until my dead line and do you want to know who the loudest voice in my head is right now? It isn't Emmerson, or Owen, or Chris, and it defiantly isn't Larain. It is no one even remotely related the the story at hand. It is Tristan. He is just full of things to say and I can't write them down right now because I need to focus. sheesh, he has the worst timing!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Today I was told that I have a Mary Poppins bag. This is not the first time I have heard this, and I suppose it is more than slightly true.
would you care to see?in case you can't tell I will list those things you are looking at that I just dumped out of my purse.

  1. 5 different lotions (gumdrop, pomegranate, coconut passion, romantic wish, and peppermint.)
  2. a mountain dew (caffeine free) and a revive vitamin water (empty)
  3. 4 perfumes (cupcake, vanilla, butterfly kisses, and white gardenia)
  4. 3 bottles of pills (Excedrin Migraine, Ibuprofen, and Pamprin)
  5. School stuff (two binders, a math text book, two notebooks, and the clipboard with the writing notebook, a small notebook filled with letters to people, and a book to read)
  6. a deck of cards
  7. a small teddy bear named Fredric.
  8. antibiotic ointment
  9. lip gloss (bright red, dark red, and sunshine flavored)
  10. chapstick (vanilla, bert's bees, and skittles)
  11. pink lipstick
  12. two packs of gum (mint and watermelon)
  13. $5.26
  14. A for strength of youth and personal progress pocket sized books.
  15. temple recommend.
  16. a ten dollar off coupon for old navy.
  17. bandaids.
  18. library card
  19. drivers licence
  20. fold-able flats and the bag they go in.
  21. a hair bow
  22. post-it notes
  23. a headband.
  24. a clean tee shirt
  25. my phone charger (and normally my phone but I was using its camera)
  26. nail polish remover
  27. fingernail polish (red and silver)
  28. fingernail clippers
  29. two inhalers (because one isn't enough.)
  30. deodorant
  31. m&ms
  32. a pin wheele
  33. a bag containing over 50 pens and pencils.
  34. cough drops
  35. Oreos and candy
  36. and this lovely pink blanket

That is ridiculous, why do I carry this stuff around with me?
1.My name is Taylor Ann and I talk to myself.

2.I always thought it would be cool to marry someone by the name of Taylor Taylor, then we would be Taylor Ann Taylor and Taylor Taylor. and it would be good.

3.I often forget that I am supposed to capitalise things and even more often I use an s where there should be a z because the s is easier to reach.

4.I may or may not be more than a bit infatuated with a boy I have never really met.

5.I also may or may not have imagined what our lives would be like if we were together and in love.

6.I like to dance in the park and greatly wish to skip school and go gallivanting with my best friend.

7.My group of friends at lunch consists of a floozy and her boy, an indie, an emo, a perfectionist, a drama boy who follows me around because I am to nice to tell him to leave, and me.

8.I enjoy history, because it is like story time.

9.I have a baby doll named Emma-Jane and a teddy bear named Butterscotch. I sleep with both.

10.I own 15 skirts, and a few dresses, and I wear them more often than I wear pants.

11.I enjoy writing for the sheer pleasure of seeing my thoughts put to paper.

12.I step on the cracks in the sidewalk.

13.I have a seven step plan to get a boy to be my friend again, step 6 is to get him to text me, and my father says step 8 is to marry him but I disagree.

14.I would sell my soul for ice cream.

15.I will be 17 in 23 days and have never been on a real date (because the dance that I asked a boy to doesn't count as a date, it is a dance. they are different.)

16.I make rainbow cupcakes when I am sad.

17.I listen to my music too loud, and people some times stare, but I don't really care.

18.I dislike shoes, and end up taking them off half way through the day most every day.

19.I have only been able to smell for the last 5 months, and it fascinates me.

20.I build a wall of blankets on my bed so I can't fall off.

21.I have a collage on my wall, it looks like this:
22.I am a hopeless romantic and find myself daily with the aching desire to go do things like eat cupcakes in the dark, slow dance to the old man next doors music, put ice cream on the end of his nose so I can kiss it off, and wander aimlessly while holding hands. I very much wish to be in love.

23.I delete my texts as soon as I am done with the conversation because I hate the clutter they leave when they are in my inbox, but my room is hopelessly cluttered.

24.I try on at least 4 outfits every morning, and make my sisters decide for me in the end.

25.I have a strange combination of ADD, OCD, and procrastinationitis.

26.I change the way I have my clothes organised when I get bored, right now they are sorted first into long sleeved, short sleeved, jackets, pants, and skirts and then with in those categories by color, the order of the colors being alphabetical. It took me about 3 hours to get this perfect.

27.I have loony toons on my sheets, and whinnie the pooh on my pillow cases, I also have 7 pillows on my bed because I like sleeping while surrounded by things. I really hope my husband likes to cuddle all night, because I would enjoy that.

28.I have very irregular sleeping habits and my body can't decide if it wants to be awake in the early morning or the late night, so it switches daily.

29.I have started sleeping in more and more every day, I haven't gotten out of bed before 6:25 once in the last 2 weeks.

30. I greatly enjoy the organization of lists, to the point where it is very near creepy and obsessive.

31.I make it easy to think that I am a druggie because my head has hurt for the majority of the last 4 months, and I have started eating ibuprofen like my life depends on it, which it does. so I guess I am a druggie in some ways, but not really.

32.I own a lot of lotion, my favorite of which is called romantic wish and is from bed bath and beyond. it smells like lilacs and sugar cookies in my opinion, but I don't know what it really is.

33.I sing very loudly and off key when I am alone in the house, and some times when I'm not.

34.I wish for my birthday this year to be filled with balloons, preferably of many colors, skipping school, the zoo, ice cream, and possibly using the date as leverage to get a favor from the boy. . . (why yes, I do have a diabolical plan in store, thank you for asking.)

35. I have grand plans for my 18th birthday, some of which include a road trip and brightly colored hair.

36.I want to finish writing my book by the 21st of this month, that is in 13 days and I need to start writing faster, especially if I wish to be cool and edit the first 12 chapters (which were written in 8th grade before I learned english) by this dead line.

37.I talk to much when I get tired, I tend to babble and any one who will listen will get to hear my life's story, just like you are hearing now. That is how I scare away a lot of people, but it is also how I figure out which friends are keepers.

38.I enjoy the fact that utah county is filled with lots of little shops filled with wonders that few have encountered yet, and I feel the same about down town salt lake and wish I had more time to go exploring there.

39.I feel like college is going to be a marvelous adventure filled with bike rides, roof top concerts, and cheep food and I will enjoy it greatly.

40.I feel like high school is going to be a marvelous adventure filled with figuring out how to survive, getting a job, and pretty much living college on a mini scale with out some of the responsibility.

41.I recently decided that I am a pretty cool person and I should be friends with myself.

42.I enjoy my clipboards, yes plural clipboards, I own 4 and a half, the have because I broke one the other night. It was very sad and I held a funeral, me and my baby sister were the only attendees, the clipboard was shy and didn't have many friends.

43.I am very strange and have many peculiar quarks such as writing in the storage room or on the island in the middle of the street when I get writer's block because they seem like good places to see something you didn't before.

44.I wish I wasn't so antisocial, and to help myself with this I've started to refuse to let myself look at the ground when walking in the halls and when I am looking up I feel awkward so I start smiling at strangers like they are my best friend. I receive many strange looks while doing this.

45.I have become addicted to facebook and update my status far to often for it to be healthy but I can't seem to get myself to stop. I like when I get on and have multiple notifications, internet love is the greatest.

46.When I get cold I get even more peculiar and start putting on layers until I cannot move my arms any more, at which point I turn on my space heater (the better of the two I own) and sit in front of it reading. I like the way the pages radiate a rich aroma when the hot air blows over them.

47.I have a very full closet. I have many jackets, they occupy more than half of my closet space, and I have a nice collection of peacoats (a red one, a yellow one, a purple and grey one, a brown and white checkered one, and a blue one.) I also have lots of sweaters, and few tee shirts and keep the sheets that are mine in the top of it.

48.I get extremely cranky when i am on my period. like, not even funny, evacuate the area type of cranky. and I crave salty things, mostly potato chips and bacon.

49.I think my deodorant smells quite amazing, it is called sexy intrigue, and when I were it with my cupcake perfume I am amazed at how good I smell.

50.I only wrote this so I could keep myself awake for an hour in case the boy woke up because I really want to talk with him more, but it has been more than an hour and he hasn't returned so I am assuming he won't and going to sleep now. We will talk in my dreams (which sounds creepy, probably because it is.)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

yes, today is national kiss a stranger day.

yes, I did participate.

yes, he did blush, quite a lot.

yes, I do love this holiday.

that is all.

taylor.

Monday, September 5, 2011

today:
head hurts.
need sleep.
need to write.
the Odyssey is too long.
Josh Gracin.
incomplete sentences.
16 outfits tried on.
still in pajamas.
skittles chapstick.
pea coats.
lists are good.

that is all.
taylor.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The birthday of a good friend and making him a cake he won't eat.
a rooftop concert and a bike ride at dusk.
driving and laughing.
loud music and the windows down.
bangles and dancing.
sleeping in and a clean room.
Writing and naps in the park.
cops and robbers and a boy pushing you on the swings.
panic attacks and the boy singing to make it better.
giving up, because it doesn't matter if you win and doing your best tomorrow.
smurfs cereal and popsicles.
big hair bows and good friends.
great aunt Stephine's funeral and not running red lights.
shaving parties and free muffins.
inspiration hitting too late at night and church coming too early in the morning.
hot chocolate and death noodles.
good books and better conversations.
jumbled up words and funny jokes.

that is what this weekend consisted of, and it was wonderful.