Today I took a five hour nap. Not quite five hours, but close enough. four hours and 56 minutes. see? that is plenty close to five hours. and now, it is night time and I am not sleepy anymore. I wish it would just be morning already.
School starts again in the morning. and that part isn't so exciting. the oh so exciting part comes in that once school starts again, there are only three weeks till christmas break. see? oh so exciting. I cannot wait until Christmas. it has got to be the most wonderful holiday in the universe.
I am in love with every single aspect of it. I am in love with the lights and ornaments and tinsel that make every thing sparkly. I am in love with the snow (at least until christmas is over) that makes sledding and snowball fights possible and leads to hot chocolate and blankets in front of the fire. I am in love with the music that sings of peace on earth and good will to men and other things that are so great and idealistic and only exist in the spirit of christmas. I am in love with christmas cookies and christmas parties and christmas sweaters.
I am in love with gift wrap and bows and boxes and bags. I am in love with sneaking presents around cloak and dagger style. I am in love with the suspense of christmas eve and the sleep over with my sisters on that night. I am in love with the cheesy christmas movies that play on TV all month long. I am in love with trips to temple square and trips to the McFate's. I am in love with pepermint and gingerbread and gumdrops.
I am just generally in love with the entire season.
that is all.
taylor.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
I do enjoy writing. and apparently I'm crazy also.
I do sometimes sound very crazy. I say things like "we like this" and "we must have hear you wrong." when it should just be "I did this" and "I must have heard you wrong." and when i say those things people look at me like I'm crazy. which, you know, if understandable. except the voices in my head are my characters, and so I don't feel like that makes me crazy.
it probably does.
any way. . .
i do most of my writing in my head. i would much rather sit and think about the chapter for a week or two or maybe even a month or two before trying to write it than to sit down and just go with it. i like to think about it, plot it out, decide who says what when, and get it all perfect in my head a few dozen times before i ever put a word down on paper and then once i put my fingers to my keyboard i can pull all of that out of my head in a few hours and get a very nice chapter.
i've been in that thinking stage for the rewrite of the first chapter of marks for about a month now. okay, more like two months but that is okay. and you know what? i am still not ready to put the words down. i haven't had enough time to really thing. i haven't had any time where i can turn off the lights and close my eyes and listen while my characters run dialog. i haven't had enough time to go take a walk and let the logistics fall into place with the beat of my feet. i haven't had time to sit in my car and watch every move they make and every expression that crosses their faces.
my brain has been distracted by thoughts of edgar allen poe and systems of equations and sisters and sickness and holidays. and my time had been taken up by homework and clothes and naps and cookies and new cds and over all things that are good in nature but very bad for me in the way that they take up my brain space. i really need to get caught up on sleep and homework and then take christmas break (which is not nearly close enough) to do things like go running in the cold and driving in the dark and thinking and plotting and dialog-running.
that is all.
taylor.
I do sometimes sound very crazy. I say things like "we like this" and "we must have hear you wrong." when it should just be "I did this" and "I must have heard you wrong." and when i say those things people look at me like I'm crazy. which, you know, if understandable. except the voices in my head are my characters, and so I don't feel like that makes me crazy.
it probably does.
any way. . .
i do most of my writing in my head. i would much rather sit and think about the chapter for a week or two or maybe even a month or two before trying to write it than to sit down and just go with it. i like to think about it, plot it out, decide who says what when, and get it all perfect in my head a few dozen times before i ever put a word down on paper and then once i put my fingers to my keyboard i can pull all of that out of my head in a few hours and get a very nice chapter.
i've been in that thinking stage for the rewrite of the first chapter of marks for about a month now. okay, more like two months but that is okay. and you know what? i am still not ready to put the words down. i haven't had enough time to really thing. i haven't had any time where i can turn off the lights and close my eyes and listen while my characters run dialog. i haven't had enough time to go take a walk and let the logistics fall into place with the beat of my feet. i haven't had time to sit in my car and watch every move they make and every expression that crosses their faces.
my brain has been distracted by thoughts of edgar allen poe and systems of equations and sisters and sickness and holidays. and my time had been taken up by homework and clothes and naps and cookies and new cds and over all things that are good in nature but very bad for me in the way that they take up my brain space. i really need to get caught up on sleep and homework and then take christmas break (which is not nearly close enough) to do things like go running in the cold and driving in the dark and thinking and plotting and dialog-running.
that is all.
taylor.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Well. . .
I'm about to rant about my period and the strange things it does to me. If you are like me father and don't want to know anything about this and the word period made you feel awkward, I apologize. Stop reading. If you do want to know, I question you but go ahead and read. You will be glad you aren't me right now.
First off. My ovaries are exploding. and if you weren't aware, explosions in your belly are not fun. I can't imagine anyone would think they were. I mean, go watch a nice action movie (I suggest Battle: LA) and watch those explosions. Then picture that happening inside of your belly. Fun, isn't it?
Next. Mother Nature decided it would be fun to throw in a bunch of crazy hormones to the box when she sent your monthly gift. So on top of being in pain, I am cranky. And I yell at people. and then I cry. and then I go off and try to eat my boyfriends face. only not really, I just think about it. then cry because he was busy and couldn't come get a soda with me during lunch. and then my clothes fell off in the car, and I was glad he wasn't there, because that would not be appropriate in any way.
And because that isn't enough. I get to be so tired that I cannot even see straight. too tired, in fact, to sleep at all. and I have not slept for more than 10 minutes in the last two days. that isn't healthy. and it defiantly doesn't help with the 'emotional wreck' thing I was talking about a few minutes ago.
It is a good thing break starts tomorrow and I don't have to go to school. I can't be held accountable for my actions during my 'time of the month.'
that is all.
best of luck.
taylor.
I'm about to rant about my period and the strange things it does to me. If you are like me father and don't want to know anything about this and the word period made you feel awkward, I apologize. Stop reading. If you do want to know, I question you but go ahead and read. You will be glad you aren't me right now.
First off. My ovaries are exploding. and if you weren't aware, explosions in your belly are not fun. I can't imagine anyone would think they were. I mean, go watch a nice action movie (I suggest Battle: LA) and watch those explosions. Then picture that happening inside of your belly. Fun, isn't it?
Next. Mother Nature decided it would be fun to throw in a bunch of crazy hormones to the box when she sent your monthly gift. So on top of being in pain, I am cranky. And I yell at people. and then I cry. and then I go off and try to eat my boyfriends face. only not really, I just think about it. then cry because he was busy and couldn't come get a soda with me during lunch. and then my clothes fell off in the car, and I was glad he wasn't there, because that would not be appropriate in any way.
And because that isn't enough. I get to be so tired that I cannot even see straight. too tired, in fact, to sleep at all. and I have not slept for more than 10 minutes in the last two days. that isn't healthy. and it defiantly doesn't help with the 'emotional wreck' thing I was talking about a few minutes ago.
It is a good thing break starts tomorrow and I don't have to go to school. I can't be held accountable for my actions during my 'time of the month.'
that is all.
best of luck.
taylor.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
I've decided to be thankful this week in honor of thanksgiving. My friends are great and they don't hear that enough, so I am going to leave them all a message somewhere, saying why I love them, and why I am thankful for them. The messages will come in different ways, but they will come. I'll report back in a week.
Monday, November 14, 2011
I wait for two hours every day after school to drive my sisters home. I am late for school at least three times a week because they can't get out the door. I help them with their home work. and I clean a lot. and I never get thanked for any of that. So yes, occasionally I am going to complain. and you know what? I thought that was okay. I thought my sisters would understand if I got irritated wasting so much of my time every day and not getting home until 4 when I get out of school at 2:15. But apparently not.
Apparently when I say that I hate how inconvenient it is to sit waiting for two hours what I really mean is that I hate my sisters and how dare they inconvenience me, the great and powerful ruler of the universe with their schooling. And apparently their lives suck and they want to kill themselves because I complain about how long I wait every once and a while.
And apparently nothing I do is good enough. and apparently I don't get to have feelings. Apparently I am just there to listen to their problems, and to clean up after them, and to give them rides, but I can't even need to go somewhere myself, or feel something myself, or want something to be mine and just mine because my clothes are theirs and my books are theirs and my computer, and pens, and notebooks, and pictures, and anything else that I thought was mine, is really theirs and I shouldn't complain when they get them dirty or ruin them or leave them lying around the house to get lost because I can't care because I'm not allowed to feel anything.
And apparently I am lazy because I don't have a job, but I can't go get a job because I don't get home until after four, and then I would have to drive to work and it makes it really hard to get a job when you can't work until five.
Glad to know where I stand with my family.
Apparently when I say that I hate how inconvenient it is to sit waiting for two hours what I really mean is that I hate my sisters and how dare they inconvenience me, the great and powerful ruler of the universe with their schooling. And apparently their lives suck and they want to kill themselves because I complain about how long I wait every once and a while.
And apparently nothing I do is good enough. and apparently I don't get to have feelings. Apparently I am just there to listen to their problems, and to clean up after them, and to give them rides, but I can't even need to go somewhere myself, or feel something myself, or want something to be mine and just mine because my clothes are theirs and my books are theirs and my computer, and pens, and notebooks, and pictures, and anything else that I thought was mine, is really theirs and I shouldn't complain when they get them dirty or ruin them or leave them lying around the house to get lost because I can't care because I'm not allowed to feel anything.
And apparently I am lazy because I don't have a job, but I can't go get a job because I don't get home until after four, and then I would have to drive to work and it makes it really hard to get a job when you can't work until five.
Glad to know where I stand with my family.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Well, in case you wondered I have wonderful characters. Emery is great and I would marry Eli, and Skyler has so many issues, and Micheal Morgan has joined in to my cast of abusive fathers. (does anyone else wonder why I have so many of those? I do, because most people write what they know (which explains Emery's mother) and my daddy is my best friend.) Emery's siblings all have their own personality, despite their large number and I have no trouble keeping them straight, Jonah is a perfect foil to Skyler, and Marley Waters irritates the crap out of every one. See? wonderful characters.
At this point you must be wondering what the problem is, because there is always a problem. So I will tell you. I have no plot. I have thought up a few things but nothing really wonderful. I know that Emery is going to get scared and not let Skyler into her life right away. I know that Skyler is not going to have any choice in the matter and will break the attachment procedure with her. I know that Emery is going to go on a blind date with one of Eli's friends, and this friend will end up being her boyfriend for a while. I know that this boy is going to be a jerk. I know that Skyler will be the one to help her realise this. I know that she will eventually have to let him in and they will fall in love. I know that Skyler will have to move just after Christmas. I know that he will come back and they will be happy together. I know all of that, but none of it really makes for a plot. and I don't know enough about what Skyler is doing while Emery is dealing with Jerk Face. Jerk Face needs a name also.
oh well. I will write and I will get words down and some how they will form a story. I hope.
wish me luck.
taylor.
At this point you must be wondering what the problem is, because there is always a problem. So I will tell you. I have no plot. I have thought up a few things but nothing really wonderful. I know that Emery is going to get scared and not let Skyler into her life right away. I know that Skyler is not going to have any choice in the matter and will break the attachment procedure with her. I know that Emery is going to go on a blind date with one of Eli's friends, and this friend will end up being her boyfriend for a while. I know that this boy is going to be a jerk. I know that Skyler will be the one to help her realise this. I know that she will eventually have to let him in and they will fall in love. I know that Skyler will have to move just after Christmas. I know that he will come back and they will be happy together. I know all of that, but none of it really makes for a plot. and I don't know enough about what Skyler is doing while Emery is dealing with Jerk Face. Jerk Face needs a name also.
oh well. I will write and I will get words down and some how they will form a story. I hope.
wish me luck.
taylor.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Well, it is that time of year. National Novel Writing Month is upon us and this year, I am going to participate. Now, I promise nothing, only because November happens to be the month that I am sick most often, but I am going to try and do the near impossible. 50,000 words in a month. That is 1,667 words a day. or 69 and a half words every hour. Yes, I do realise this is crazy, but crazy people have more fun than 'normal' people. Especially when said crazy people are crazy with friends named heather and mike and have lots and lots of caffeine in their lives. Wish me luck. . .
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