The question: what is love?
The answer:

According to dictionary.com:
Love:
[luhv]–noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.


According to the Bible dictionary:

This word seems to require explanation only in the case of its use by our Lord in his interview with "Simon, the son of Jonas," after his resurrection (John 21:16, 17). When our Lord says, "Lovest thou me?" he uses the Greek word _agapas_; and when Simon answers, he uses the Greek word _philo_, i.e., "I love." This is the usage in the first and second questions put by our Lord; but in the third our Lord uses Simon's word. The distinction between these two Greek words is thus fitly described by Trench:, "_Agapan_ has more of judgment and deliberate choice; _philein_ has more of attachment and peculiar personal affection. Thus the 'Lovest thou' (Gr. agapas) on the lips of the Lord seems to Peter at this moment too cold a word, as though his Lord were keeping him at a distance, or at least not inviting him to draw near, as in the passionate yearning of his heart he desired now to do. Therefore he puts by the word and substitutes his own stronger 'I love' (Gr. philo) in its room. A second time he does the same. And now he has conquered; for when the Lord demands a third time whether he loves him, he does it in the word which alone will satisfy Peter ('Lovest thou,' Gr. phileis), which alone claims from him that personal attachment and affection with which indeed he knows that his heart is full." In 1 Cor. 13 the apostle sets forth the excellency of love, as the word "charity" there is rendered in the Revised Version.

According to poet Carl Sandburg:

Explanations of Love

There is a place where love begins and a place
where love ends.

There is a touch of two hands that foils all dictionaries.

There is a look of eyes fierce as a big Bethlehem open hearth
furnace or a little green-fire acetylene torch.

There are single careless bywords portentous as a
big bend in the Mississippi River.

Hands, eyes, bywords–out of these love makes
battlegrounds and workshops.

There is a pair of shoes love wears and the coming
is a mystery.

There is a warning love sends and the cost of it
is never written till long afterward.

There are explanations of love in all languages
and not one found wiser than this:

There is a place where love begins and a place
where love ends- and love asks nothing.

According to a writer at Time Magazine:

Love's symptoms are familiar enough: a drifting moodiness in thought and behavior, the mad conceit that the entire universe has rolled itself up into the person of the beloved, a conviction that no one on earth has ever felt so torrentially about a fellow creature before. Love is ecstasy and torment, freedom and slavery. Poets and songwriters would be in a fine mess without it. Plus, it makes the world go round. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,977763,00.html#ixzz1L2ARe4TK

According to www.love.ygoy.com:

• Love is not a necessity, but it is life's greatest gift and luxury. It is to care, to be kind and patient. It is considered as perfect love when a person doesn't expect anything else but love.
• Love is or should be unconditional. And thus is giving and selfless, it is a celebration of what is right and what is true
• Love is undying devotion.
• Love is the desire to be intimate both physically and emotionally.
• Love endures all, hopes all, and bears all. It is believing, sharing and dreaming.
• Love is a feeling of completeness, forgiving, understanding and inspiring.
• Love is the attainment of life's greatest inspiration. It is supporting, but not overbearing.
• Love is a complete expression of oneself or the other. it is being open to each other's expression
• Love can be strong, yet so fragile.
• There are those out there who have not been lucky enough to find it, some never will. In addition, what one would call true love...love in its best, purest, truest sense is even rarer and harder to find.
• The dream of finding and marrying for true love exists and concludes by everything falling into place.

According to me:

I think it is the most powerful thing in the entire universe. I mean people will do absolutely anything for the people that they love. I believe that love can last through anything. That if you really love someone nothing is going to change that. I believe that love never stops. You aren't going to just stop loving someone. If you love someone, at all, you are going to die loving them. You might get hurt by that person and you might wish you hated them, heck you might even really hate them, but at the same time they are always going to be a part of who you are because when you love someone it changes you. They become a part of who you are, and that isn't going to change.

Love is when someone steps into your life and leaves their hand print on your heart.

Hello world. Want to hear what is exciting? I think I have a title. This is a big deal, in case some one who hasn't had this problem is reading this. And I am very excited. Hence me asking if you wanted to hear what is exciting.
Do you want to hear what it is? Because if you keep reading you will find out. At least you will hear some of the options. And then you will have to tell me what your thoughts are.
And now, with out further ado, the working title(s):
The Things You (Just) Don't Say
or
The Things You (Just) Won't Say
or
The Things You (Just) Can't Say
As you can see, I have the basic idea down. I just can't decide if I like the word just in there, which would be why I have it in parenthesizes in there. And I can't decide between won't, don't and can't.

See won't is very applicable. There are a lot of things concerning all of their pasts that they simply will not say. They could, and they possibly should, say them. They simply won't.

The don't is also very applicable. There are so many things that they (and when I say they, I am mostly talking about Hilary.) don't say. Things that they want people to know, things that they need to get out, that they don't say because they are worried that people won't listen, or care.

And again, the can't say is very applicable. Some of the things in there past, or even there present, mostly the things I referred to previously, are things that they simply cannot say. Whether it is because of loyalties or because they are not ready to admit them out loud.

And so I will give this deep thought, and I will read the one comment that mike will leave when I tell him to, and I will make a decision.

And by the way, Heather would be so proud, I capitalized every single word that should be capitalized. I did it only because she complained to me about my capitalizing habits and it pained me to break my habit for a few moments.

Fair thee well.
Taylor

I have a strategy for when I am beating myself up. it is a mantra of sorts. it started with Sister Saban. She told a story in young women's one day about a lady who simply hated her husband. She knew that wasn't right and so she decided to change that. And so every night she thought of one new thing she liked about him. I changed that a little bit. I started with my fundamental knowledge. And then, every time I thought a new negative thought I made myself sit down and add one more thing to my "list of indisputable and lovely facts about Taylor Ann Lapp". Today, i am having a hard time thinking of a new one and so I am going to write them down. That always helps me focus my mind.
And so with out further ado, I give you "The list":

I am a daughter of god.
He created me, every ounce and inch.
He doesn't make mistakes.
He loves me.
I should love myself.
He loves me because I am amazing.
I am accomplished.
I am talented.
I am an amazing writer.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
Somewhere there is a man who is perfect for me.
I am perfect for him.
I don't need to change.
I am not inadequate.
I am a good big sister.
I am a good friend.
when I think bad things about myself, I am lying to myself.


What did I add today?
I am me. and that is good.


Some day, I hope to be able to add one thing to this list, and truly believe it to be an indisputable and lovely fact about Taylor Ann Lapp:
I am perfect.


that is all.

I have been thinking a lot of different thoughts tonight (it is something that tends to happen when I attempt to do my math homework). I have been thinking about the rain.

I truly love the rain the way I love few other things. I love when it is pouring rain and I can laying my bed or sit on my front porch and just listen to it. Some times, when I listen hard enough I can hear the stories it is telling, the stories that dried up and blew away with it, only to drop down on my little spot on earth. They are each different and special. Each of them has something to tell me, and I can sit and listen to the rain tell me all of them. What I hear is beautiful.


And thinking about the rain that was telling me those marvelous stories got me thinking of my writing. About how lucky I am to have found the thing that will always be there for me. Some people go their entire lives with out any clue of what they are doing. I am not claiming to have any idea why the heck I am here, but I at least have a way to help me sort out why things are happening. A way to even figure out what is happening . A way to get all of those extra emotions, the ones I just can't deal with, out of my brain and into something that I can manipulate and make sense of.

And of course thinking of writing made me wish to write something but sadly I am suffering from a deadly syndrome commonly known as writers block so I came here and I ranted a slight bit and decided I like putting pictures in my blog posts and I am going to continue.

That is all,
taylor

Well here goes one more list.
People who have taught me something:

1) Heather: I met Heather in the seventh grade. That was not exactly the best time of my life. I was going crazy, and acting it. And this random girl, in her pigtail braids and ugly sweater, plopped down in the seat next to me in math, determined to be my friend for some reason. I was as mean as I could be to her trying to get her to go away, but she was to dang stubborn to give up. Three years later and I still haven't shaken her, so I guess I might as well quit trying. What did she teach me? well, don't give up on what you want, be there for your friends, sometimes the best thing to do it listen.

2) Celina: Celina has been my best friend in the world for the last 13 years, more or less. Even though we fought a lot I always knew that she would be right there every time I needed her. She pushed me, and supported me, and told me it was okay to quit when I needed to. She was the only stable thing in my life for a long time and I am SO excited to go see her! What did she teach me? It is okay not to be perfect, as long as you do your best, and you are proud of that. Some times it is okay to quit. And that I can do anything I want.

3) Mike: Not sure how he got himself on this list so fast. I mean I have only known him for about four months. It seems like a lot more than that though. I mean this boy already knows most all of my secrets, things I haven't told people ever. It is insane but I really trust this boy, and he got to the number three spot because he listens to me, and helps me work through my problems, whither they be in my life or my writing. What has he taught me? The best friends are the ones who care what you have to say, who aren't afraid to tell you you are wrong, and who help you do your best.

4) Dad: Well, this one is an obvious answer. I love my father. He is a good man. He works hard and makes sure we have everything we need, whither we need that new pair of shoes or a hug, he finds a way to be there to give it to us. What has he taught me? Be loyal to your friends, but don't be afraid to make new friends. You never waste a day if you helped some one smile.

5) Oddly enough Macquel: Macquel is a different kind of teacher than the other people I have talked about. She was never really there for me, she didn't really listen to me, she used me, and then left me for the first guy to walk by her. So what did she teach me? She taught me not to take people for granted, because they aren't going to be there forever.

6) David: He was my son in 'It Runs In The Family'. I hung out with him every day for three months. And I don't think I ever really got to know him as well as I should have. He was easy, and uncomplicated, and just fun to be around (until Macquel came into the picture, then it was a little less uncomplicated, I had to play the role of Macquel's best friend) and I needed that. What did he teach me? He taught me that it is okay not to be what some one thinks you are. You don't have to follow the crowd to be loved. Be yourself and the people worth loving will find you.

7) Sister Saban: She was my favorite Young Woman's leader I have ever had. She believed in me when I didn't, she loved me unconditionally even when I told her my secret, she supported me in everything I did, and she didn't give up on me just because she wasn't my leader any more. What did she teach me? Some times all people need is to know you love them, so make sure that you tell them.

8) Mrs. Ellis: I don't even know her first name. She was my science teacher in 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. She let me hang out in her room during recces. She helped me with my science fair project the year we went to state. What did she teach me? Well, out side of the science core that I learned so well from her, she taught me that it is okay to be smart, it isn't something to be ashamed of. She taught me to work hard for what I want.

9) Hilary: I realize she isn't an actual person. But she it just as real to me as any one else on this list. She started out as being me under a different name and set of circumstances but that isn't the case any more. I saw things in myself that I wrote in her that I didn't like and so as I helped her to find her self, she helped me do the same. What did she teach me? What you look like doesn't make any difference at all. You are who you are, and no ones opinion is going to change that.

I feel very, very alone. And very, very scared. And very, very ugly. And very, very fat. And lots of other very, very bad things. I hate my new school. Every one I have met is crazy and on drugs or having sex or other stupid things except for the girls in my ward. And so I hang around them and pretend like they are my friends. They aren't really. They are friends. And I am the random new kid who is following them around. I am there Cherokee.
I realized that no one who reads this has any idea who Cherokee is because the only person who would understand is Macquel and she hasn't cared about anything I have had to say for the last year or two. The story Macquel knows is that in the sixth grade there was this girl named Cherokee and she was new. And she wanted to be our friend so badly. She sat with us at lunch and followed us around the play ground. And we ignored her because we were already friends, we didn't need her. It is only now that I understand that she needed us. And I feel so bad for not being friends with her. Add that to my list of regrets.
So that is why I feel alone. I am scared because of the other two things I said I felt. Fat and Ugly. I can only remember feeling this alone once in my life. Right at the beginning of seventh grade. I feel a lot like I did then and that scares me to death because just look at how I reacted then. I stopped eating, shut out my family, and picked the wrong friends. I totally messed up and I can see myself falling into those same traps all over again. I thought I was stronger than this. I thought I was sure in what I believed and how I felt about myself. I was getting better. And now I can't say that any more.
It has only been a week at the new school and already I see myself skipping meals and pretending to be some one I'm not, at home and at school. It isn't good. And I can see it but I am not sure if I can stop it by myself. Actually, that is a lie. I am positive that I CAN"T stop it by myself. I'm just not sure if any one else will help me.

hello dear world.
I am quite tired. I am also quite bored. I am also supposed to have done a lot more homework this weekend. Alas I have done none. Oh well, I will put it off for another day. None of it is in dire need of finishing. I have made a goal. Would you like to hear about it? Oh good. I am going to tell you. I have decided that I will finish one of my stories before the start of next school year. I have yet to decide wither to finish the one with the better characters (Tristan) or the better plot (Marks). either way I am going to finish one of them. And the other will follow shortly. After that i will go on other exciting voyages into the deep recesses of my brain. And who knows what we will find there. Maybe a mermaid, or a leprechaun, or a girl with a yellow hat and green shoes. Maybe we will find out that a boy named Destry plays the didgeridoo in Manhattan, or Emery JoAnn is in love, or Bobert from Washington ate a jar of mayonnaise on a dare. Who knows, and who cares? Those are adventures for another day.

Today I am not going to give you another list. I am tired of lists. I want to give you my words, my thoughts, and what ever other random things I decide to type out in the next few minutes. I decided that while lists are great fun, they do not tell you everything I want to get out. And that just won't work for me today because I have a lot to get out.
Lots of feelings trying to burst out of my family this week. I think that is why we all got sick this week, why we can't get rid of this silly what ever it is. We are all to stressed. February 15. That is the day. The day of all days. Moving day. Two weeks and five days and I will be out of my beautiful, wonderful house. And, lets face it, I am scared to death about it.
I don't want to move, ever. I want to stay right where I am. I like where I am. I like that this little yellow house, with it's rose bushed and crazy paint, has always been here. It has always been home. All of my stories, all my memories, they all center around this place.
9976 North Oak Road West, Cedar Hills, UT. That is my address. That is where I belong. That is where I have celebrated every birthday I can remember, and a few I can't. That is where my parents brought Faith after she is born. That is where I met Celina. That is where I learned everything I know. It is where I read my first book. Where I started writing. Gracen broke her wrist for the first time on this street. I said goodbye to Celina when she moved in this neighborhood. I fell in love for the first time here. I have done everything with in a few blocks of this house. It is where I grew up. And now I have to leave.
I don't want to leave here, and I don't want to go there, where ever there is. I don't want to have to move into a new ward, make new friends. I am shy. I don't deal with new people well. I shut down and block them out. I have friends here. I know that the people who live around me will always be there when I need them, I don't want to lose that and go some where that I don't know that. I don't want to go to church on Sunday and sit in a room full of people I don't know who have what I have here. I don't want to be the new girl. I don't know how to do that, and I have no interest in learning.

New Year's Resolutions

I know I am a little late but I wanted to be sure that I was actually committed to doing what I said I would. So here are my new year resolutions, the ones that I am sure about at least:

Spiritual:

• read the Book of Mormon all the way through again.
• be excited for mutual.
• earn my honor bee.

Physical:

• eat better than i have been, maybe even a veggie every few months.
• start running again when it gets warmer.
• take vitamins and try to stay healthy.

Mental:

• get a 4.0 this term, I have been slacking off for way to long.
• read 100 new books.
• learn about another culture.

Fanatical:

• save up for collage.
• spend a little so that I don't hate work.
• don't forget my tithing.

Writing:

• finish, and name, Hilary and Tristan's story.
• write at least 30 minutes a day.
• don't use writing as an excuse to get out of homework.

today I:

1. slept in until 11:30. it was lovely.
2. didn't feel good.
3. got my mom a soda.
4. went christmas shopping. it wasn't lovely, but it is good now that it is done with.
5. wasted an hour doing nothing on the computer.
6. took a nap
7. did my chore, poorly but I did it.
8. made some hot chocolate.
9. wrote chapter 18 of my book.
10. drank my hot chocolate.
11. finally got my french homework done.
12. finished my chore.
13. came and saw that 13 people in Russia have read my blog.
14. thought about how you guys might be bored of lists.
15. wrote this list any way.
16. got ready to go to Olive Garden with me famillia.

Alphabet soup

1. alphabet soup.
2. bumble bees.
3. can any one tell me something good that happened today?
4. don't touch my cactus. It bites.
5. every one dance. now.
6. funny funny.
7. go die in a hole. I don't want to see you.
8. happy birthday.
9. iggy the iguana was my favorite.
10. juice boxes win.
11. keep them coming.
12. lame response to a serious question.
13. many days, wasted doing nothing.
14. nothing ever stays the same.
15. over you. I am defiantly over you.
16. possibly, or maybe not.
17. quiet down, I am pretending to sleep.
18. raise up and change something if you are so unhappy.
19. stop your belly yakin'.
20. totally, i would love to. if you were some one else.
21. under the bridge, that is where the adventure begins.
22. very curious.
23. weasly wizarding wheezes.
24. xylaphone. I am a xylaphone player.
25. you broke my heard and didn't ever know it.
26. zebras graze happily in the plains of spain.

Favorite Movies

these are in no particular order. This is just the order I thought of them, which might mean that they are in order of favoritism but I am not sure.

1. The Princess Bride
2. Aladdin
3. How To Trian Your Dragon
4. Hercules
5. Titanic
6. Harry Potter (all of them)
7. The Little Mermaid
8. Chocolat
9. Mr. Magoriums Wonder Imporium
10. Serendipity
11. Tuck Everlasting
12. Return of the King (Lord of the Rings)
13. A little princess
14. Finding Neverland
15. A Walk to Remember
16. Dispicable me
17. ever After
18. Savana Smiles
19. Hoccus Poccus
20. Mulan
21. The Shaggy Dog
22. Jumper
23. Pirates of the Caribean
24. Once Upon A Forrest
25. The Santa Clause