Want to hear something I hate? I hate that someone turned my words against me.
In all honesty I do not care what you take away from the words I write. You can read something and find beauty and inspiration or hate and exasperation in the words. I don't care if I said something thinking that is was some wonderful, life altering thing and you read it and hear a poem with an off rhythm. I DO NOT CARE.
The thing that I care about is when you try and tell me what I was saying. When you take what ever it is that my words made you feel and tell me that is what I felt when I read them and it was my intent to hurt you with them. I do not dictate what you take from them, and I am not the type of person who would purposefully say something to hurt someone. In fact, I often censor my words to protect feelings. So please, don't try and tell me what I am saying because you only know what you are hearing.
Now that I have that out I can continue on. I am deeply sorry that I died for a few days. Something I said was taken wrong and used against me and it broke something in me for a while but don't worry the repair crews have arrived and are working diligently and with all possible haste.
I know I have said this a thousand times but my words really are the most important thing in my life. The words that I write down, say aloud, or refuse to acknowledge make up who I am but they are more than just me. They are the things that make up my relationships, they are the things that hold my brain together when I feel like falling apart, they are my way of venting, or loving, of hating, of helping, and of being helped. With out them I would be completely lost.
And while they are so important to me I would swear off of words, never write, speak, even think another word, if I knew that they were hurting some one. That is why it was such a blow to me when some one I love came to me and used them as a weapon against me. This person disected something that they weren't ever supposed to read, something that was privet and personal, sentence by sentence and told me what I was 'really' saying. Told me that my words were wrong and that I should be ashamed of them. And I do not think I will ever forgive this person for that.
My words are beautiful and I will not let you change my opinion of them. I will not be ashamed of them because they are the best part of myself.
that is all.
taylor.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I think I figured out how I feel. I think I feel alone. And I think it took me this long to figure out because it makes no sense. I haven't been by myself in days. It isn't that I am lonely though. I just feel alone. And I was going to go visit Lone Peak today to remedy myself of this, but Gracie took to long leaving school and I missed lunch. I will just have to try again another day. . . And in the mean time, I will keep talking to my blog.
that is all.
taylor.
that is all.
taylor.
The parental units will be home late tonight. And in preperation for that I cleaned the kitchen and had faith sweep and we are all set. We went to Gracie's concert and she did fabulous and I had a buy one get one free for ice cream so we went. And when we got home I counted the money we had left. $385. We started with 500. . . And I know we only spent 95. So at some point this week I lost twenty dollars. And I feel really bad, and stupid. How the heck did I do that? I probably should be freaking out, but I am not. I am having a hard time keeping things straight, the last thing I need is a panic attack, so I just decided that I would go to the bank tomorrow and take twenty out of what is left from the elementary school. Not the best option, that is disappearing quickly, but I don't know what else to do so it is what I will do.
On a brighter note, I am probably 95% done with chapter 13 of The Marks Trilogy, you know the one that isn't a trilogy yet. And it is fabulous and you should all be jealous of my skill, except for those of you who are more talented that I am, which is most of you. . . ANY WHO, for those of you who don't know (every one but heather I do believe) finishing this chapter is a great land mark in my life and I feel quite accomplished. I started this book at the very end of the eight grade. And it was coming along quite nicely, until I finally figured out what was wrong with Hilary and started her over. She took her place in the front of my brain and dominated my every thought for the next year and a half. Sadly, this meant that Marks got put on hold. I have had the first sentence of this chapter written with out something to follow it for such a long time, and now? It is a full grown chapter! Good for it!
On another, entirely different note, I got some lip gloss yesterday, and it is the greatest thing in the universe. It tastes like coffee and sunshine. Does that make sense to any of you? You know how when it gets really hot out side and you are standing on the concrete and you can taste the heat in the air? Imagine a smoother, softer version of that taste and it is what I am calling sunshine flavored. Now that you have that lovely picture in your head, add the taste of really good coffee, and put it on my lips. Don't you want a taste? Too bad, I don't kiss people just because they like my lip gloss. If I did that I would have kissed at least 50 people today, and then where would we be? Siberia, that is where. Because that is where my father would send me when he found out I kissed more boys that a puppy on a play ground.
now, I need a shower because I ate too much ice cream and feel sticky.
that is all.
taylor.
On a brighter note, I am probably 95% done with chapter 13 of The Marks Trilogy, you know the one that isn't a trilogy yet. And it is fabulous and you should all be jealous of my skill, except for those of you who are more talented that I am, which is most of you. . . ANY WHO, for those of you who don't know (every one but heather I do believe) finishing this chapter is a great land mark in my life and I feel quite accomplished. I started this book at the very end of the eight grade. And it was coming along quite nicely, until I finally figured out what was wrong with Hilary and started her over. She took her place in the front of my brain and dominated my every thought for the next year and a half. Sadly, this meant that Marks got put on hold. I have had the first sentence of this chapter written with out something to follow it for such a long time, and now? It is a full grown chapter! Good for it!
On another, entirely different note, I got some lip gloss yesterday, and it is the greatest thing in the universe. It tastes like coffee and sunshine. Does that make sense to any of you? You know how when it gets really hot out side and you are standing on the concrete and you can taste the heat in the air? Imagine a smoother, softer version of that taste and it is what I am calling sunshine flavored. Now that you have that lovely picture in your head, add the taste of really good coffee, and put it on my lips. Don't you want a taste? Too bad, I don't kiss people just because they like my lip gloss. If I did that I would have kissed at least 50 people today, and then where would we be? Siberia, that is where. Because that is where my father would send me when he found out I kissed more boys that a puppy on a play ground.
now, I need a shower because I ate too much ice cream and feel sticky.
that is all.
taylor.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
today was not a good day. I realise I have bored you all with summaries of my day for the last couple of posts and I will not do that to you again. I make no promise about venting though because the person I usually vent to isn't on the computer right now and I have a lot to say.
The first thing that is bothering me is that I feel as though I am not needed any more. Normally I do a lot for my family. I cook, and I clean, and I lend emotional support. and while I complain about that, I secretly love it more than any thing in the world. I love being needed. Lately though, my sisters all seem to have figured out that they are strong capable women and don't need me to do so many things for them. They also realised that I am not their only sister and they can go to the other sisters for support. Kelsie and Gracen have formed their own little club, they sleep together, kelsie goes and eats lunch with her at school, and they tell each other all of their secrets. And I think that is great. Except for the fact that they aren't telling me their secrets any more. Then Faith as hit that icky preteen stage where she believes she is ruler of the universe and there for about very one else and she defiantly isn't coming to me for advice.
The second thing that is bothering me is that I feel as though I am not trusted any more. I haven't ever done anything really bad. I have never done damage that couldn't be fixed to any one. Yes, I have done stupid things, but I was mostly hurting myself, and who doesn't have bad moments? I have always been responsible when it comes to my sisters. So why is it that my parents are so freaked out about leaving them with me for three days? They don't trust me enough to drive the car while they are gone, or to let my sisters out of my sight for more than five minutes, to the point where they told us we couldn't leave the house except for school because they don't trust that I can keep life running with out them. It's not like I have ever been left alone for longer than this, or watched their kids.
The third thing that is bothering me is that I feel as though I am not holding my head together very well this last week. I keep having to remind myself every five minutes that I am a great person who deserves every good thing in the world. I am just thinking dark, depressing thoughts and I don't know why. And I do not know how long I am going to be able to keep it up. I am so exhausted by the end of the day that I can't remember what I am doing and I can't keep my eyes open. I think this is what Mike would describe as deep blue funk and I can't shake it.
well, that was a vent, in case you wondered, so I am glad I didn't promise not to give you one of those. In fact, that was three vents. Now, I have to think of something I am talented at to show my seminary class tomorrow. Wish me luck with that one. . .
that is all.
taylor.
The first thing that is bothering me is that I feel as though I am not needed any more. Normally I do a lot for my family. I cook, and I clean, and I lend emotional support. and while I complain about that, I secretly love it more than any thing in the world. I love being needed. Lately though, my sisters all seem to have figured out that they are strong capable women and don't need me to do so many things for them. They also realised that I am not their only sister and they can go to the other sisters for support. Kelsie and Gracen have formed their own little club, they sleep together, kelsie goes and eats lunch with her at school, and they tell each other all of their secrets. And I think that is great. Except for the fact that they aren't telling me their secrets any more. Then Faith as hit that icky preteen stage where she believes she is ruler of the universe and there for about very one else and she defiantly isn't coming to me for advice.
The second thing that is bothering me is that I feel as though I am not trusted any more. I haven't ever done anything really bad. I have never done damage that couldn't be fixed to any one. Yes, I have done stupid things, but I was mostly hurting myself, and who doesn't have bad moments? I have always been responsible when it comes to my sisters. So why is it that my parents are so freaked out about leaving them with me for three days? They don't trust me enough to drive the car while they are gone, or to let my sisters out of my sight for more than five minutes, to the point where they told us we couldn't leave the house except for school because they don't trust that I can keep life running with out them. It's not like I have ever been left alone for longer than this, or watched their kids.
The third thing that is bothering me is that I feel as though I am not holding my head together very well this last week. I keep having to remind myself every five minutes that I am a great person who deserves every good thing in the world. I am just thinking dark, depressing thoughts and I don't know why. And I do not know how long I am going to be able to keep it up. I am so exhausted by the end of the day that I can't remember what I am doing and I can't keep my eyes open. I think this is what Mike would describe as deep blue funk and I can't shake it.
well, that was a vent, in case you wondered, so I am glad I didn't promise not to give you one of those. In fact, that was three vents. Now, I have to think of something I am talented at to show my seminary class tomorrow. Wish me luck with that one. . .
that is all.
taylor.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Hello world.
I feel very. . . content? tired? sad? happy? impatient? I don't know exactly but what ever it is that I feel I am sick of it. I always hate this time of year. I mean you aren't quite done with school but you aren't in the year enough to actually be learning anything and school just feels like a waste of time. Do any of you ever get that feeling? It is something similar to your last while at a job, where you know you are done and quit and you don't have to answer to any one on monday, but at the same time you want to leave them with a good impression.
All I have to do before summer starts is get my school figured out for next year. I need to get over to lone peak and find out about getting in for next year because I cannot stand another year at Pleasant Grove. The name is very deceiving, it isn't pleasant at all. I need to know if I can get to lone peak. That is the best option, but if not, then i am going to have to come up with something else. And quickly.
Despite all of this emotional confusion I am very excited for this year to be over and for summer to start. This is going to be a good summer, I can tell. I can drive and I can date. I have two groups of friends, heather and them, and kyall and them. I feel closer to Heather and them than I ever have been despite switching schools and I am so excited to have more time to play with them. The only problem with them is that we tend to do nothing most of the time then get together once a month and have a marvelous time. That is the big difference between Kyall and them and Heather and them. Kyall and them hang out most every weekend and it is the first time I have ever had a group of friends that all hung out together consistently. It is kind of weird, but I like it.
I feel as though having the two separate groups will be beneficial in this whole enjoying summer thing. And I am excited to see how it plays out.
Another thing that the time of year has got me thinking about is how old I am. Last year, I didn't feel old at all. In fact I felt so young I was sure I would never get out of high school. Now I am thinking about it and I will be done in two years and two weeks. I will be eighteen in one year, four months, and 18 days. I will be able to vote for the next president. I could be married in three or four years. My life is about to start for real. And that is just so exciting I can hardly stand it.
Well, I have to go lock up the house so I will bid you good night.
that is all.
taylor.
I feel very. . . content? tired? sad? happy? impatient? I don't know exactly but what ever it is that I feel I am sick of it. I always hate this time of year. I mean you aren't quite done with school but you aren't in the year enough to actually be learning anything and school just feels like a waste of time. Do any of you ever get that feeling? It is something similar to your last while at a job, where you know you are done and quit and you don't have to answer to any one on monday, but at the same time you want to leave them with a good impression.
All I have to do before summer starts is get my school figured out for next year. I need to get over to lone peak and find out about getting in for next year because I cannot stand another year at Pleasant Grove. The name is very deceiving, it isn't pleasant at all. I need to know if I can get to lone peak. That is the best option, but if not, then i am going to have to come up with something else. And quickly.
Despite all of this emotional confusion I am very excited for this year to be over and for summer to start. This is going to be a good summer, I can tell. I can drive and I can date. I have two groups of friends, heather and them, and kyall and them. I feel closer to Heather and them than I ever have been despite switching schools and I am so excited to have more time to play with them. The only problem with them is that we tend to do nothing most of the time then get together once a month and have a marvelous time. That is the big difference between Kyall and them and Heather and them. Kyall and them hang out most every weekend and it is the first time I have ever had a group of friends that all hung out together consistently. It is kind of weird, but I like it.
I feel as though having the two separate groups will be beneficial in this whole enjoying summer thing. And I am excited to see how it plays out.
Another thing that the time of year has got me thinking about is how old I am. Last year, I didn't feel old at all. In fact I felt so young I was sure I would never get out of high school. Now I am thinking about it and I will be done in two years and two weeks. I will be eighteen in one year, four months, and 18 days. I will be able to vote for the next president. I could be married in three or four years. My life is about to start for real. And that is just so exciting I can hardly stand it.
Well, I have to go lock up the house so I will bid you good night.
that is all.
taylor.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I am so sorry I fail you yesterday. I wasn't home long enough to post something and then I got home after midnight. just so you all know, this was a good weekend. Possibly the best week end I have had in a very long time. In fact, I can't think of something that would make it better.
It started with a very nice sleep over with heather. I went over to her house and we hung out with jenna, talked to mike, and drank heather's soda. It was lovely. Then heather and I came to my house and made popcorn and grape koolaid and watched the prestige, which I hadn't seen and blew my mind. Then we went up to my room and more lovely conversation with mike before we went to sleep at a very respectable hour.
Then I woke up to a phone call from Miles (who, if you don't know, is the boy I asked out) telling me he was excited to see me later. I drove heather home, and the whole way there and back the radio played good music with no commercials. I didn't even have to flip through the stations. Then I got home and my family was being civil to each other. My parents got the car clean and smelling wonderful, my sisters helped me get pretty, and all was well. Even my hair cooperated with me!
Then came the long awaited date. Miles was perfect, and despite all of my worrying, the first date I have been picturing in my head was exactly what I got. I was so sure that I had built it up in my head to an impossible standard, I mean it has been daydreamed over for 10 years now, but I didn't. It was everything I expected and more. And during our day date we went to this place where you can climb up a rock wall and jump off into a foam pit and we raced to the top then he grabbed my hand and we jumped together, and the whole way down I was reminded of the moment in The Princess Bride, towards the end, when she jumps out of the window and the whole world stops and turns to magic. It was wonderful. And Miles felt just awkward enough around the strangers to stick right next to me the whole time, but not awkward enough to actually feel uncomfortable.
Then we dropped the boys off and I went home and my family was all excited for me and my mother helped me fix my make up before it was time to go back for dinner. Dinner was great too. We had really good hamburgers and played boccie ball. and it was just so much fun! Then it was off to the dance! We got there and danced for a little while, and let me tell you, it was hilarious, because none of us could dance.
We left early and went to one of the girls houses and watched a movie. And guess what! He held my hand. And I don't think he noticed but I couldn't breath. Then we noticed it was almost midnight and Amy drove us home and he held my hand in the car too. Even when he moved to the front seat so we weren't all squashed in the back, he reached back between the door and the chair and held my hand. Then when we dropped him off he told me that I should text him and we could make plans for next weekend! excitement!
Then today, I woke up to the smell of cinnamon rolls. It was the first time in a while some one else got up and made breakfast but we had cinnamon rolls and really good fruit and it was lovely. And then, to just top all of it off Gracen had the idea of going to the first ward, so I got to go back and tell all of my dear friends there all about my adventures. It was great to be home for a few hours.
And this isn't even the end of the wonderful. I am really excited for the coming week. I am done with testing and I get to play with grace and faith while every one else is gone. We are going to lone peak wednesday, probably to the first ward tuesday, and I am playing with a girl named Gynie tomorrow. The week has promise and I look forward to the coming adventures.
It started with a very nice sleep over with heather. I went over to her house and we hung out with jenna, talked to mike, and drank heather's soda. It was lovely. Then heather and I came to my house and made popcorn and grape koolaid and watched the prestige, which I hadn't seen and blew my mind. Then we went up to my room and more lovely conversation with mike before we went to sleep at a very respectable hour.
Then I woke up to a phone call from Miles (who, if you don't know, is the boy I asked out) telling me he was excited to see me later. I drove heather home, and the whole way there and back the radio played good music with no commercials. I didn't even have to flip through the stations. Then I got home and my family was being civil to each other. My parents got the car clean and smelling wonderful, my sisters helped me get pretty, and all was well. Even my hair cooperated with me!
Then came the long awaited date. Miles was perfect, and despite all of my worrying, the first date I have been picturing in my head was exactly what I got. I was so sure that I had built it up in my head to an impossible standard, I mean it has been daydreamed over for 10 years now, but I didn't. It was everything I expected and more. And during our day date we went to this place where you can climb up a rock wall and jump off into a foam pit and we raced to the top then he grabbed my hand and we jumped together, and the whole way down I was reminded of the moment in The Princess Bride, towards the end, when she jumps out of the window and the whole world stops and turns to magic. It was wonderful. And Miles felt just awkward enough around the strangers to stick right next to me the whole time, but not awkward enough to actually feel uncomfortable.
Then we dropped the boys off and I went home and my family was all excited for me and my mother helped me fix my make up before it was time to go back for dinner. Dinner was great too. We had really good hamburgers and played boccie ball. and it was just so much fun! Then it was off to the dance! We got there and danced for a little while, and let me tell you, it was hilarious, because none of us could dance.
We left early and went to one of the girls houses and watched a movie. And guess what! He held my hand. And I don't think he noticed but I couldn't breath. Then we noticed it was almost midnight and Amy drove us home and he held my hand in the car too. Even when he moved to the front seat so we weren't all squashed in the back, he reached back between the door and the chair and held my hand. Then when we dropped him off he told me that I should text him and we could make plans for next weekend! excitement!
Then today, I woke up to the smell of cinnamon rolls. It was the first time in a while some one else got up and made breakfast but we had cinnamon rolls and really good fruit and it was lovely. And then, to just top all of it off Gracen had the idea of going to the first ward, so I got to go back and tell all of my dear friends there all about my adventures. It was great to be home for a few hours.
And this isn't even the end of the wonderful. I am really excited for the coming week. I am done with testing and I get to play with grace and faith while every one else is gone. We are going to lone peak wednesday, probably to the first ward tuesday, and I am playing with a girl named Gynie tomorrow. The week has promise and I look forward to the coming adventures.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Dear people of the world,
I am sorry I didn't post yesterday but it isn't my fault. Blogger was down. Do I still get points? I think yes, otherwise all of you must die because no one can know of my failure. And that would be sad, seeing as I love all of you.
Today, is Friday the thirteenth. And I had a pretty decent day. I think I did okay on my french oral and the rest of the test got put off until next week so I can study more. I read a lot. I got 100 percent on my physics CRT, which I was amazed by. I took a nap. I am about to play with heather. And I made funnel cake. I think that adds up to a good day, don't you? Especially because of the funnel cake. It was very good.
I have no strong opinions, or interesting thoughts, or rants, or raves. Nothing really to write. I will get back to you on that. . .
that is all.
taylor.
I am sorry I didn't post yesterday but it isn't my fault. Blogger was down. Do I still get points? I think yes, otherwise all of you must die because no one can know of my failure. And that would be sad, seeing as I love all of you.
Today, is Friday the thirteenth. And I had a pretty decent day. I think I did okay on my french oral and the rest of the test got put off until next week so I can study more. I read a lot. I got 100 percent on my physics CRT, which I was amazed by. I took a nap. I am about to play with heather. And I made funnel cake. I think that adds up to a good day, don't you? Especially because of the funnel cake. It was very good.
I have no strong opinions, or interesting thoughts, or rants, or raves. Nothing really to write. I will get back to you on that. . .
that is all.
taylor.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
today I asked a boy out. I feel quite accomplished. not only because I am going on a date, but because i liked this boy on and off all though elementary school and jr. high. and lets face it, this year too. In fact I think I will die liking this boy. only because he is him. he is that boy. every girl has one of them. they boy who they just have a soft spot for that they imagine dating, kissing, even marrying and having babies with.
now, when I think logically. I hardly know this boy. we haven't been close friends since elementary. in fact, I haven't spoken to him for more than five minutes in the last three years. but I am a teenage girl and lets face it, when are we logical? and so when I had to ask a boy out, my mind didn't go to the boy I like currently, or the boy before him, or the boy before him. I thought of this boy. and I got over the fact that I was sure I would be happy secretly loving him until the day I died and telling myself that when a certain day happened I would kiss him or tell him I thought I might love him only to 'forget' when the day actually came.
but I asked him out. and I don't know how I feel about it.
that is all.
taylor.
now, when I think logically. I hardly know this boy. we haven't been close friends since elementary. in fact, I haven't spoken to him for more than five minutes in the last three years. but I am a teenage girl and lets face it, when are we logical? and so when I had to ask a boy out, my mind didn't go to the boy I like currently, or the boy before him, or the boy before him. I thought of this boy. and I got over the fact that I was sure I would be happy secretly loving him until the day I died and telling myself that when a certain day happened I would kiss him or tell him I thought I might love him only to 'forget' when the day actually came.
but I asked him out. and I don't know how I feel about it.
that is all.
taylor.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
today i am going to tell you a story.
this is a not-so-love story. and I am not going to name names. So he will be Bobert and she will be Franny.
So bobert and I were engaged in an after school activity that required us to spend time together after school everyday. and it was great. I absolutely loved bobert and the other people I was hanging out with. and of course I decided that I loved bobert a little more than the rest of the people. actually, a lot more. and I wanted him to like me too. now, at this point in life all of my love advice came from my dear friend franny. but franny didn't know bobert and so she could not advise me. so i brought her with me to this after school activity.
and you know what? it only took her a week to tell me that bobert wasn't my type and I should like nameless third party. and so I told her I would, because of course I did everything she said (I had a bit of hero worship going on). and I pretended to stop liking bobert. after that it took her less than a week to decide she liked him despite the fact that she had a boyfriend. and I watched as she got him to fall in love with her, played with his feelings for about a week, and then decide she like the real boyfriend more and end the whole thing with a boom, crash, and bang.
this story is the second in a long chain of stories that start and end exactly like this. in fact it is the second in a chain of 5 stories, because I have liked 5 guys since then (there are a few more that end like that, but only five the start like that). and do you want to know what that now all too familiar ending is?
she blames the boy she canoodled with. boyfriend (who is the first story like this) is heart broken, but still believes she loves him because they are meant to be together. I console franny until I can talk boyfriend into forgiving her and she doesn't need me any more. and bobert (or the boy that is in bobert's place)? he is cast to the side by franny, never to hear another word from her and I can't go console him because it might upset franny and I don't want to do that.
any one else see the problems here? because I can point them out for you.
first: I must be stupid to letting franny walk all over me like this. she knows I like this boy, and she has her own boy. why do I think it is okay for my so called friend to take him away from me?
second: franny has a boyfriend. why does she think it is okay to take another boy away from any one, let alone her best friend?
third: boyfriend should quit forgiving her. she is not going to change. and they are not meant to be together because she doesn't treat him like he deserves to be treated.
fourth: poor bobert and his following heirs. does franny stop to think that maybe they have feelings? and that maybe they would appreciate it if she didn't stomp all over their hearts.
that is all I am going to say on the matter at the moment. but just so you know, it irritates me and I can say that now because I stopped caring about keeping franny happy with me. and the thing that pulled this out of my head is something bobert said on his blog. it made me mad with franny all over again. I hope he reads this, and it doesn't make him mad that I wrote it, and that he isn't mad at me for not warning him about franny, or for introducing them in the first place. I am sorry about that bobert.
eat some pie.
taylor.
this is a not-so-love story. and I am not going to name names. So he will be Bobert and she will be Franny.
So bobert and I were engaged in an after school activity that required us to spend time together after school everyday. and it was great. I absolutely loved bobert and the other people I was hanging out with. and of course I decided that I loved bobert a little more than the rest of the people. actually, a lot more. and I wanted him to like me too. now, at this point in life all of my love advice came from my dear friend franny. but franny didn't know bobert and so she could not advise me. so i brought her with me to this after school activity.
and you know what? it only took her a week to tell me that bobert wasn't my type and I should like nameless third party. and so I told her I would, because of course I did everything she said (I had a bit of hero worship going on). and I pretended to stop liking bobert. after that it took her less than a week to decide she liked him despite the fact that she had a boyfriend. and I watched as she got him to fall in love with her, played with his feelings for about a week, and then decide she like the real boyfriend more and end the whole thing with a boom, crash, and bang.
this story is the second in a long chain of stories that start and end exactly like this. in fact it is the second in a chain of 5 stories, because I have liked 5 guys since then (there are a few more that end like that, but only five the start like that). and do you want to know what that now all too familiar ending is?
she blames the boy she canoodled with. boyfriend (who is the first story like this) is heart broken, but still believes she loves him because they are meant to be together. I console franny until I can talk boyfriend into forgiving her and she doesn't need me any more. and bobert (or the boy that is in bobert's place)? he is cast to the side by franny, never to hear another word from her and I can't go console him because it might upset franny and I don't want to do that.
any one else see the problems here? because I can point them out for you.
first: I must be stupid to letting franny walk all over me like this. she knows I like this boy, and she has her own boy. why do I think it is okay for my so called friend to take him away from me?
second: franny has a boyfriend. why does she think it is okay to take another boy away from any one, let alone her best friend?
third: boyfriend should quit forgiving her. she is not going to change. and they are not meant to be together because she doesn't treat him like he deserves to be treated.
fourth: poor bobert and his following heirs. does franny stop to think that maybe they have feelings? and that maybe they would appreciate it if she didn't stomp all over their hearts.
that is all I am going to say on the matter at the moment. but just so you know, it irritates me and I can say that now because I stopped caring about keeping franny happy with me. and the thing that pulled this out of my head is something bobert said on his blog. it made me mad with franny all over again. I hope he reads this, and it doesn't make him mad that I wrote it, and that he isn't mad at me for not warning him about franny, or for introducing them in the first place. I am sorry about that bobert.
eat some pie.
taylor.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
I almost forgot about posting! I laid down to go to sleep and was almost out when I remembered that I hadn't said anything to you lovely people! see I have been on here a number of times today, and thought to myself "hey, you should talk to them". but I never listen to myself. and so I didn't say anything but thought I had. and so here I am, rambling to you once again.
I decided that the written word is a beautiful thing. I mean these words that I am writing right now, they will be here in one million years. when I am dead and gone. when my children's children's children's children's children are grown and old and have filled the world with their stories and mine have become the cautionary tale that no one believe really happened. they will live through wars, plagues, and famines; see peace, prosperity, and happiness; transcend generations; endure critique; bask in the glory of praise. they will be here, an unchanging testament to who I am, the way few other things are.
that is all.
taylor.
I decided that the written word is a beautiful thing. I mean these words that I am writing right now, they will be here in one million years. when I am dead and gone. when my children's children's children's children's children are grown and old and have filled the world with their stories and mine have become the cautionary tale that no one believe really happened. they will live through wars, plagues, and famines; see peace, prosperity, and happiness; transcend generations; endure critique; bask in the glory of praise. they will be here, an unchanging testament to who I am, the way few other things are.
that is all.
taylor.
Friday, May 6, 2011
okay, so here comes a vent. but it is a different kind of vent than I normally give so don't worry.
I just read a status on facebook that read the following: "OMG, Mormons are such judgers. I mean, just because I wore a tank top in public doesn't mean you can glare at me."
and you know what, I agree with this person. SOME mormon people are very judgmental. you don't have to hate someone just because they speak, dress, or believe differently than you do. this is a free county, you have the freedom of religion, even in utah. I mean come on people! we teach tolerance, and acceptance, don't we? Isn't that what the 11th article of faith says?
"we claim the privilege of worshiping almighty god according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may."
It seems very hypocritical to me that we pass judgment on others so freely.
ON THE OTHER HAND. I feel as though I must point out that in saying this my friend has become hypocritical. not all mormons are judgmental of others. In fact, I would like to believe that it is only a minority who would glare at this person for wearing a tank top. and I know for a fact that I would not. I am a Mormon and I do my best not to pass judgment on people who believe differently than I do. and by saying "Mormons are such judgers." you are not only using horrible grammar, you are judging my entire religion and I take offense to that.
that is all.
taylor.
p.s. I posted this at a decent hour, aren't you all so proud?
I just read a status on facebook that read the following: "OMG, Mormons are such judgers. I mean, just because I wore a tank top in public doesn't mean you can glare at me."
and you know what, I agree with this person. SOME mormon people are very judgmental. you don't have to hate someone just because they speak, dress, or believe differently than you do. this is a free county, you have the freedom of religion, even in utah. I mean come on people! we teach tolerance, and acceptance, don't we? Isn't that what the 11th article of faith says?
"we claim the privilege of worshiping almighty god according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may."
It seems very hypocritical to me that we pass judgment on others so freely.
ON THE OTHER HAND. I feel as though I must point out that in saying this my friend has become hypocritical. not all mormons are judgmental of others. In fact, I would like to believe that it is only a minority who would glare at this person for wearing a tank top. and I know for a fact that I would not. I am a Mormon and I do my best not to pass judgment on people who believe differently than I do. and by saying "Mormons are such judgers." you are not only using horrible grammar, you are judging my entire religion and I take offense to that.
that is all.
taylor.
p.s. I posted this at a decent hour, aren't you all so proud?
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